This is how I'll dress and look if I ever get married again. It will only cost a few thousand dollars from Disney.It will definitely be in Vegas, probably here.
And the dude officiating at the ceremony will look something like this:
The handsome, young Elvis... not the old, fat, drug addicted Elvis.I do have standards, you know.
I'm getting a head start in planning because I'm sure I'll get an answer to my personal ad any day now.
Wanted: Extremely wealthy, incredibly handsome and devoted man who will give me absolutely everything my heart desires with no hesitation and no expectation of anything whatsoever in return. Must take long, extensive business trips on a regular basis, remaining completely devoted and loyal, leaving me with my own personal jet, allowing me to do as I please. Large staff of servants and multiple households in various exotic locations required, adjacent to premier shopping and entertainment venues. Advanced terminal illness or advanced age with failing health preferred. Must provide an irrevocable trust of all assets and a signed and notarized writ of divorce/annulmnent in advance of ceremony. Contact immediately.
4 comments:
damn, why did you have to add "devoted"?
hmmm... I could replace one devoted with "worshipful" but I'd have to keep at least one devoted just to head off any possible icky diseases that might rub off on me, not that any physical contact whatsoever should be expected. Because, of course, it would be all about me.
oh, THAT kind of devoted... I thought that you meant having to sit and listen to one another's friends at dinner, or some crap like that.
I retract my complaint...
Oh, heavens no! The dining room would be exclusively reserved for myself and my friends only, that is, when I'm not being served breakfast in bed. My husband could, of course, take his meals with the servants in the shed out back, if he absolutely insisted on having to eat, though I think one meal a day should be more than sufficient.
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